


Amateurs at War

by shions_heart



Series: iwfyitd verse [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Platonic Cuddling, Queerplatonic Relationships, a wink wonk at kinkuni, iwfyitd verse, mentions of kuroken and kyouhaba
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 06:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6971347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shions_heart/pseuds/shions_heart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While awaiting Kuroo's return from Bokuto and Akaashi's, and as Yahaba runs himself ragged over at the lab, Kenma and Kyoutani comfort one another.</p><p>((Set during Chapter 9 of I Will Follow You Into the Dark))</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amateurs at War

**Author's Note:**

  * For [knightswatch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightswatch/gifts).



> raechan wanted established, _canon_ , kenken; so, like, here.

The apartment is quiet. Silence hangs over like a heavy blanket, thick and oppressive. Kenma hasn't seen Kuroo in three days. He's tried texting, even calling, to no answer. He knows he's staying with Bokuto and Akaashi, but when he sends texts to Bokuto, he always gets the same response:

_I'm sorry. I think he needs more time._

Shouyou comes over as often as he can; he has training to complete at the base, but he tries to make time to play games with Kenma until he's nearly falling asleep over his controller, and Kenma sends him home.

Akira and Yuutarou visit sometimes. They have been for a few months, ever since Oikawa got Shigeru to work for him again. Kenma doesn't think they know very many people their own age, and although Kenma's still a few years older than them, he doesn't mind their presence. They mostly play his games or watch movies, not having any form of real entertainment back at their apartment.

And usually Kentarou visits with them. At first he seemed uncomfortable, sitting gingerly on the edge of the couch like he was afraid to break something. He seemed careful to not make any sudden movements around Kenma, which annoyed Kenma until he remembered that their first encounter led to a panic attack; then it made sense.

To put him at ease, Kenma sat beside him on the couch, playing his PSP or DS, while Akira and Yuutarou played on the PS4. Kentarou sat stiffly at first, hands curled on his knees. But as Kenma remained relaxed and unconcerned, slowly the tension began to ease. These days it's not uncommon for him to lean slightly against Kenma to watch him play, asking questions every now and then and listening to the answers with interest. Sometimes he'll play a round or two on the PS4 with Yuutarou, while Akira naps with his head on Yuutarou's back or lap.

After a while Kentarou starts to nap as well. Kenma knows from living with Kuroo what the excess adrenaline from the serum does to his body; how it keeps him up all hours of the night sometimes, only to wreck him with exhaustion later. Kenma doesn't mind him napping. One might think it strange to feel so comfortable around a person who could snap at any moment and hurt you, but Kenma trusts him the same way he trusts Kuroo.

He knows that Kentarou is a good person. He knows he would never hurt him.

Tonight the boys end up playing late into the evening. Not wanting them to walk home in the dark, Kenma suggests they spend the night. It'll be nice to not sleep alone too.

He lets Akira and Yuutarou take the bigger bed in his and Kuroo's room. Kentarou says he'll take the couch. But even after the kids retire for the night, Kenma finds himself reluctant to go to bed alone in the spare room. Even though it's the room he used to sleep in before things between him and Kuroo grew more . . . intimate, it doesn't feel right anymore. It's no longer familiar. So he sits on the couch instead, knees pulled to his chest, playing his PSP while eavesdropping on Kentarou's phone conversation with Shigeru.

Although Kentarou is turned away from him and speaking in a low voice, Kenma can get the overall gist of what he's saying.

"Are you sure? Yeah, the kids are already in bed. Okay. I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." Kentarou pauses, his shoulders hunching slightly. He glances over his shoulder at Kenma, who blinks at him. Kentarou's ears grow pink, and he quickly turns back around.

"I can't. He's right here." He grumbles for a moment before mumbling something that Kenma _thinks_ is "I love you and I miss you too."

Kenma fights a smile, as Kentarou hangs up and pockets the phone. He turns back around.

"He says Oikawa's got him working on something that'll take them a while, so he'll just crash at the lab." Kentarou rubs the back of his neck, looking away briefly, before meeting Kenma's gaze with a faint frown. "You don't have to stay up with me. I'll probably not sleep much."

Kenma tilts his head, pausing his game. "You still have insomnia?"

Kentarou nods. "Sometimes. I get this sort of . . . pent up nervous energy. Like I have to fight something. But there's nothing to fight so I just . . . pace around."

Kenma nods in understanding. "When Kuro gets like that I fuck him until he's tired enough to sleep. Have you tried that?"

The pink returns to Kentarou's ears. He ducks his head, shifting on the couch and scowling at the floor. "Uh, Shigeru and I don't really . . . I mean, uh, the kids are right next door and the walls are kind of thin so . . . I mean, sometimes he . . . but we don't . . ." 

His words fall into a mumble, and Kenma tries to hold back a laugh. Kentarou's ears are completely red now, and he shakes his head.

"So, uh, have you heard anything from Kuroo lately?" he asks, in an obvious attempt to change the subject.

Kenma suddenly doesn't feel like laughing anymore. His jaw tightens, and he frowns, shaking his head. "No."

Kentarou looks up, seeming surprised by this but then not so surprised. "Oh. I'm sorry."

Kenma shrugs, looking back down at his PSP. "He blames himself for Lev's death." He grips the PSP so hard his fingers ache in protest. "It's stupid."

Kentarou reaches out, touching Kenma's knee lightly. "He just needs time. Our heads . . . they're not really the best place to live in."

"But he should know it's not his fault. It just . . . it just _happened_ ," Kenma says. He feels a lump form in his throat, pressure weighing down into his lungs. He wants to scream, to relieve the ache settling deep in his chest. In an effort to suppress that urge, he lifts one hand, biting down hard on the back of his knuckles.

"It might not be his fault, but it happened because of him, because of the Super Soldiers and the SSP," Kentarou says, his voice surprisingly gentle despite his frown. He moves his hand to take Kenma's wrist, pulling it away from his mouth. "This whole thing with Shigeru . . .," he continues, looking at Kenma's hand, as he slowly runs his thumb across the indents on Kenma's knuckles. "I know it's not my fault. But it's because of me that he's in this situation. It's because of me that we're all . . ."

Kenma turns his hand to take Kentarou's, giving it a firm squeeze. "Do you hate yourself?" he asks quietly. He inhales deeply, though the tightness in his chest doesn't seem to loosen. "Sometimes I think Kuro hates himself."

It's a look he's seen in Kuroo's eyes, the way he talks sometimes, like he should be better than this; like he doesn't think he's good enough, strong enough. It breaks Kenma's heart every time.

"I struggled with that for a long time," Kentarou admits. "But having Shigeru helps. He makes sure I don't get stuck in those kinds of thoughts for too long."

Kenma nods. It makes sense. "I try to do that for Kuro," he says, looking down at Kentarou's thumb, comforted by its slow, soothing movement back and forth against his skin. "I don't know if I'm any good at it."

"I bet you are," Kentarou says immediately.

Kenma lifts his gaze to Kentarou's face, studying the lines of it, the dark circles beneath his deep brown eyes that stare back at Kenma intently.

"You've helped me a lot too," Kentarou adds, his ears starting to redden once more. "You're . . . comforting to be around. Just, you know . . ." He pulls his hand away, running his hand over his short hair and scruffing it near the back. "Ugh. I'm not very good with words. I'm sorry." 

His brows furrow slightly, and Kenma finds himself leaning forward, pressing a tiny kiss against his mouth. Kentarou stiffens, his eyes widening in surprise.

"I understand," Kenma says softly, giving him a small smile.

Slowly, Kentarou returns the smile, though it's crooked and a little shy. It's cute, and Kenma releases his PSP in order to take Kentarou's face in both his hands, leaning forward again in order to kiss his forehead this time.

When he sits back, Kentarou reaches up to touch the spot lightly with his fingertips. Feeling self-conscious himself now, Kenma slides off the couch and stands. He picks up his PSP, holding it in one hand as he lingers for a moment, not sure what to say now. 

Finally, he lifts his free hand, holding it out to Kentarou. "You can sleep with me," he says. If Kentarou finds his presence soothing, maybe he can help him sleep. He's fallen asleep on Kenma before.

_I can't fight kaiju, but I can still be useful._

Kentarou hesitates, looking blankly at his hand before lifting his gaze to look at Kenma's face. "I don’t know if that's a good idea," he says, shaking his head. "I get . . . pretty bad nightmares."

"So do I. So does Kuro," Kenma says, shaking his hand. "I can take it."

Kentarou still seems unsure, but he takes Kenma's hand, standing slowly. Kenma holds his hand firmly, guiding him back to the spare room. He thinks of Shigeru, possibly alone in his office, unable to sleep because of the numbers and formulas whirling around and around in his brain. He thinks of Kuro, lying face down in Bokuto's bed with his pillows smashed against his ears, trying to drown out the screams of the people he couldn't save.

Although he wants to, more than anything, he can't help everyone; so he'll help the ones he can. 

He lends Kentarou a pair of Kuroo's pajama pants that are in a pile of clean laundry Kenma hasn't made the effort to fold yet. He changes in the bathroom, while Kenma grabs one of Kuroo's sweatshirts and pulls it on. It hangs down over his boxers, as he kicks his jeans to the side. He knows he'll probably be too hot for pants, sleeping beneath the comforter with Kentarou; all the Soldiers run hot, it seems.

Kentarou hesitates in the doorway when he comes back. From the bed, Kenma can see the scars that mark Kentarou's chest. They're long, jagged, almost like he attacked himself one night, tearing at his own skin. Biting his lip, Kenma beckons to him.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Kentarou asks, frowning with concern, as he approaches the bed. "Kuroo won't be mad?"

"It's not like we're doing anything," Kenma says, rolling his eyes. "Unless you want me to fuck you."

Kentarou's blush skips over his ears in order to turn his entire face crimson. He shakes his head quickly, words apparently failing him.

"It's fine then," Kenma says, pushing back the comforter to give Kentarou room to slide beneath it.

Kentarou sits, swinging his legs up to lie down. Kenma looks down at him, curious about the scars but figuring it's a question better not asked. He watches as Kentarou shifts, getting comfortable. He starts on his back, then turns to the side facing Kenma, before flipping back around to face bedside table instead. Kenma's slightly amused, but mostly annoyed, thinking that if Kentarou keeps shifting like this neither of them will get any sleep.

He lies down against Kentarou's back, wrapping his arm around his waist to hold him close to his chest. It's a little awkward, seeing how much slighter Kenma's frame is, but Kentarou immediately freezes in his hold.

"Lie still," Kenma commands softly.

Kentarou nods obediently. Sighing, Kenma rests his forehead against the soft hair on the back of Kentarou's head. After a moment, he feels the tension ease out of Kentarou's body, his shoulders relaxing, as he starts to sink into the mattress.

"Thanks," Kentarou mumbles, his voice gruff.

"Sleep," Kenma replies, closing his eyes.

He can feel Kentarou's heartbeat pounding rapidly still, and he knows it'll probably be some time before he'll actually fall asleep, but he seems calm and that's good enough for now.

Kenma shifts his feet between Kentarou's legs. Kentarou grunts softly.

"Your feet are cold."

Kenma makes no move to withdraw his feet, and after a moment Kentarou chuckles softly. "Shigeru's an asshole like that too," he says fondly. "Always putting his cold hands and feet on me."

"You're warm," Kenma says, snuggling closer. It's not like holding Kuroo. Where Kuroo's tall and lean, Kentarou's shorter and bulkier. But the warmth is the same. Kenma can feel the knot in his chest loosening somewhat. He's sure it won't disappear completely, not until Kuroo's safe in his arms once more, but like this he can tolerate it.

Like this the quiet isn't as suffocating.

**Author's Note:**

> http://shions-heart.tumblr.com/


End file.
